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The false-start intro is genius, the lead-in to the second chorus is fucking ACE (“that is just so typically me-e… ba-by… oh…”) and DO I EVEN BLOODY NEED to talk about the fact that the middle-8 is a FUCKING PIECE OF DIALOGUE? What a song. Like its predecessor, Oops! begins with its stupendous title track, and – DO YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS – I actually think I prefer it to …Baby. ITunes tells me that based on my individual star ratings for different tracks, this averages out as a four YES FOUR star album. The Beat Goes On is somewhat random, but satisfying nonetheless. Things slip a tad towards the end: I’ve already forgotten Thinkin’ About You (I think it was decent…?), and it pains me to tell you that E-Mail My Heart is not the masterpiece its title suggests it was, even if there’s something likeable in its sweetness. I Will Still Love You reminds me of that excruciating X Factor USA incident so I’m glazing over it, but Deep In My Heart could even challenge …Baby for the album’s greatest intro.
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Putting this bit in green so I remember to lose my shit over it again later. This is tween bubblegum perfection from the extravagant alternative chorus before the finale to the long electric guitar strums at the close.
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OH my GOD I had completely forgotten that I Will Be There existed, but WHAT a magnificent tune. From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart, the single they released instead of BTMYH in the US, is Literally Okay. After that, the messy Soda Pop can get in the bin, and Born To Make You Happy is another All-Time Great that never really got its moment in the sun (…apart when it was Number One in the United Kingdom). Listen to it right now it’ll make you smile and MAYBE EVEN sigh longingly for more innocent times. Third song Sometimes, however – one of Britney’s most underrated early gems – is still completely lovely. Genuinely it’s a mountain of steaming shite compared to the later Stop! Remix that was released as a single: the random guitar solo is out of place, the final chorus is a damp anticlimax, and so help me it’s just not something Sabrina The Teenage Witch herself would ever put her name to. Speaking of a classic, the next song – the original album cut of (You Drive Me) Crazy – is… not one of those. I often overlook this, to be honest, just because it’s the song People At Large tend to assume is Britney’s best (it isn’t), but it is, irrefutably, a generation’s classic. …Baby One More Time (the song) must be one of very few tracks to be universally recognisable from its first three notes, but for me the best moment is “I MUST CONFESS!!!”, closely followed by the POW! finale (the best bit of the video, FYI, is the headteacher’s iconic hand wiggle). …BABY ONE MORE TIMEĭUN DUN DUN! And we’re off. I’m going through the whole discography in chronological order (skipping the Greatest Hits and Remix compilations because, you know, I don’t have that much time) and trying my absolute hardest to milk some kind of #blog #content from it. Britney Spears has just released Glory, her ninth studio album – and in celebration, I’m HAVING A BIT OF A MARATHON.